Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Farewell Butt-kicking Speech

Look.
This is my farewell post for this blog. I've started repeating myself and I'm going to move on to a new less-Lesli-centric blog. (Not quite up and running, but it will be www.onceuponascotland.wordpress.com )

But before I go, let me just sum up what I've been trying to tell you since 2007. The only way to get past whatever it is you think is blocking your ability to write, is to take action. Write. Write crap you'll toss in the rubbish bin later. Write a list of things your character really hates. Write why you hate this blog, or anything else. Just as long as you write! Losen your typing muscles and your own writing goals will insert themselves while you're trying to remember where the q is, without looking down.

If you've spent a couple of years studying the craft, there comes a time when you should stop studying and start applying. If you've written a piece of crap and need to figure out how to fix it, pick up some books and start experimenting. Get off the internet and work.

If you thought writing a novel would merely be a long drawn out version of your free verse class, you were wrong. It's work. Back breaking, tendon swelling, sleep depriving work. Don't want to do it that way? Then go back to writing free verse and leave real writers alone. Don't come to our parties, our conferences, or our bbqs and claim to be one of us.

(If you are one of us, then by all means, come. Eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we publish!)

So do what I always tell you to do. Piss, or get off the pot.
We writers are funny creatures. We're suckers for other writers. Need help? Just ask. We're full of all kinds of free advice and brotherly love. But if we smell a faker, we're going to pinch our noses and point at the culprit. Every time. Don't want to smell like a faker? Make a schedule and write at least a few times a week. We're not Nazis. We're artists. Some of us write pure crap, but it's not from a lack of trying. We're like nurses; a fart is as good as a bm. It's all about the trying.

And on that happy note...pthththththththththt!

14 comments:

stanalei said...

Gonna miss this blog. Thanks for all the laughs and fun and butt-kicking. Write-on!

Tiffinie Helmer said...

That's for the laugh! I'm going to go fart and write now. :)

DoreeAnderson.blogspot.com or Doree.anderson@wordpress.com said...

At least the gas is moving :) Miss you, I will be. Go. Be. As I will.

Lesli Muir Lytle said...

Doree, it scares me when I come this close to understanding what you meant.

J. Coleman said...

Like anything else you care about, give it your all. No guts no glory. Same with farts. If you do frilly "foo-foos" you're just going to be sick later. Leave you imprint on the world.... or, um, "scent."

Mary Martinez said...

Lesli, you and me both. I think I understood Doree.

I'm going to miss this blog, but I bet whatever the next venture will be that much better.

Thanks

Sandy L. Rowland said...

I'll miss this blog, but hope to find bits of your sparkle in other venues.
Thanks for the fun.

Krissee said...

I needed that butt-kicking speech today! Thank you

Cindy A Christiansen said...

Lesli,
Only you could put it so eloquently. ;)
But, I'm not so sure you'll want to give up your blog after you hear my talk on --
PROMOTION: Write Off The Bat!
Hope you're coming on the 18th. I want to use you as the class example. All good, I mean.

Lola X said...

Absolutely fantastic blog!!! Glad I found it! Love it!!!

Lola x
http://lola-x.blogspot.com

Jenny Kearl said...

Girl, you are the bomb!
I love your sense of humor and will miss you at conference this year, but more then anything, I will miss your blog!

Scottyb said...

hi leslie i cant believe youre leaving. ive been following your blog back then when i was working as a flight attendant, now i am
working from home selling import and export goods online ebay and amazon i have more time to sit down and ponder. so i am actually on the internet and working!

WillG said...

Whats your new blog address? Well this post certainly reminds me of the time when I worked as a writer's assistant. It was a great job but the pay was not enough for my mortgage. Now I am working from home selling import export goods online, mostly digital items and gifts for this upcoming Christmas. My profits have been looking great and I was able to pay off my mortgage also. Everyone can do this, work from home and earn big profits online. The question is HOW and WHERE to find info.

darla1 said...

I work from home selling export goods and it has been interesting to read a bunch of blogs! Keep it up.