It's that time of night when you let your guard down, only for a moment--like forgetting to go back and close the front door after you've hauled in your groceries.
And in that moment, something pads through the doorway on soft feet and comes up behind you while you're putting your thoughts away for tomorrow.
"What if you can't do it again? What if you've written your last story?" it asks, before you can turn and stop the thought from finishing.
And there you are, with that question already taking hold in the shadowy layers of your brain, daring you to let it stay and get comfortable. Daring you to leave it there, just until morning.
"Let me help you test your dedication," it teases.
But you can't. You know you can't. You have to deny it, pull it out before the roots have a chance to twist their tiny spindles into you. Because it will take.
Oh, yes, it will take...
You can't let the thought repeat, not even once. You've seen what it has done to others--others who have put down their pens to tend the lovely gardens in their minds, to spend their thoughts on things prettier than villains and conflicts and the need to throw rocks at a hero while he clings desperately to the teetering branches of a story.
But you cannot pause to imagine what that carefree life might look like for you. You cannot pause. You must spin 'round and slap that monster out of your head.
Of course you can do it again. You've done it so many times already, started with a blank page and created an entire world upon it. Something with weight. Something with girth when it's printed off. Something tangible.
It should even be easier this time. (Of course, it won't be, but you can pretend.)
And just in case, you grab a broom and chase the thing back out the door, to let it know it is not welcome in your house.
Let it wander the dark streets and find some other mind to contaminate with doubt. And with luck, the doors will all be closed.
And if it returns, and scratches at your window, the sound will be drowned by your furious typing.
--LL Muir
12 comments:
Love it. Who among us hasn't had the creepy little elf making us doubt ourselves as he whispers in our ears. It's nice to know he has been to your house too.
Oh, he's been here. But I was really caught off guard this time.
Well said. I could totally hear Neil in my head. That "thing" visits my house frequently...if only...
I'm grabbing my broomstick now. Ü
O...M...G!!! The THING that is the bane of all writers. Not only has that THING been in my head... apparently YOU have been in my head as well! :-)
I have mu shot gun loaded and ready. The last time the monster came buy I shot over it's ugly head. Haven't seen it lately, but I'm ready.
Great post. Shared you.
"Get thee behind me demon!" Sometimes that hateful voice requires a full blown exorcism. I am sooo picking up what you're putting down, my friend.
I think it's time to gather my writing staff around me and have a manager's meeting again.
Something to raise morale, get everyone (me) pumped up and hunt down that monster.
It's time to raid all the nook and crannies. He's in my house too. Elusive, clever, and diabolical. I want him dead.
Biggest fear is that I'll wake up one day without another story to tell. Luckily, I've always had "multiple personalities."
Wow, that little hellion tried to get in this morning, but it was exorcized to death:-)
I stand warned...will keep my door firmly closed and my positive mantras on a feedback loop.
Good stuff.
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