Monday, February 4, 2008

Reach out and GOOSE someone

Reach out and goose someone? Am I kidding?

As someone who has just been "goosed" in a sense, I say goosing is a service to your fellow man.

Surely she doesn't mean "goosing" the way I think she means "goosing". Ooooh, but she does. Alright, kind of.

When is the last time you felt wide awake with shock? Apart from a shower suddenly turning cold? I thought so.

Here's how I accidentally goosed myself...

Went to Vegas to a furniture show last week. Too busy to write, of course. Too busy to breathe, actually. But on the last night my boss, Kara, and I were determined to have a good time, so we walked the strip. Yes, we saw the water at the Bellagio, etc. But just before we gave it all up I got an idea. Kara wanted to see the roller coaster at the New York, NY casino. Just to see it, mind you. So we went up to the landing and I insisted that we get on, citing "we are women, not mice". She was so surprised I would do it, she went along.

Little did she know I anticipated not fitting into the seat, planned to act disappointed before insisting she go on without me. Yes, I'm that devious.

She was amazed at my calm. I was amazed at my calm. I even managed to distract her while we waited for our turn.

I climbed in first, intending to pop right back up and out, only to find that I DID fit in the seat. The handles COULD lock over me, and the shoulder bumpers FIT ME LIKE A FREAKING GLOVE! Before I could share my little joke with others the car started moving.

I started screaming.

Before it even started the climb up that murderous hill, I was screaming my head off. At half way I was telling Kara what I wanted her to tell my family. The rest of the ride was a blur of curses. I averaged about 30 "sh..ts" per minute. Surprising how uncreative I was.

So, with my heart racing, intent on attacking me as soon as it caught up, I flew through the neon-blurred air. I screamed like a banshee over a battlefield. In the end I was surprised to discover not only had I not peed my pants, I had been caught on camera not peeing my pants. What looks like a smile is actually the shutter catching me mid "sh...t".

It has been a long time since I felt so alive. Alive and ready to write. If only I can get that kind of life into my characters.

So, I will take them to the brink of death (or what they believe to be the brink) and snatch them back. A psychological "goose", if you will. And what's good for the character is good for the writer. Push yourselves to the brink this week. Take a close up view of life in any way you can. Then get it on paper.

And if all efforts fail, goose someone else.



Denise Patrick said...

I LOVE that roller coaster. I ride it every time I go to Las Vegas - sometimes two or three times!!

Melissa Mayhue said...

When it comes to roller coasters, I'm the kind of friend who stands at the bottom and holds your purse so YOU can go enjoy yourself.

It's that whole motion sickness thing. What actually terrifies me, I guess, is the idea of puking all over complete strangers!!!!


I'm so glad you enjoyed yourself!

~ Melissa