Thursday, July 23, 2009

MURDERING THE WRONG ME

To be, or not to be...me. That is the question. Whether 'tis nobler to use a pen name is really what I was after. But like Hamlet, I've already wasted far too much of my life pondering this question.

When first considering a pen name, I made a list. This took no small amount of time. I used every marketing-inclined brain cell while considering each alternative and bothered every acquaintance for his or her input (field research).

Ultimately, I landed on something that spoke to me, rang my bells, and seemed a good marketing move. I got business cards, a website, and started this blog. I have been, for the past two years, Ainsley MacQueen.

I don't know if I'm the only writer to do this, but I have actually been jealous of myself, Ainsley MacQueen, on occasion. The thought of Ainsley MacQueen getting credit for the books I write rubbed me wrong. It's like the gal in the mirror walking out of the glass and taking over the most exciting parts of my life.

So I rebelled. I told my RWA chapter friends that I was plotting Ainsley's murder. I began imagining my own name on those book covers, and I imagined my new fans awaiting my every release, but then I stalled. My name is often pronounced wrong, spelled wrong, and not easily remembered. So I was back to square one.

Or was I?

Perhaps I have been trying to eliminate the wrong person from my career picture. Perhaps Ainsley needs to do the murdering!

Besides, I made the pen name decision two years ago. I spent all that time making the best decision I could make, and I went forward. Why try putting the rose back on the bush, when I have a perfectly lovely vase to put it in--a vase that looks a helluva lot better in public than the old bush, you know?

(Dorian Grey has nothing on me.)

Ainsley MacQueen is alive and well and taking over. Vive la portrait!

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